Adolescent (13 – 17 years old)
Teenage years are marked by major changes in our maturity and our identities. Consider the difference between a 12 year old and an 18 year old. While much in this period can be exciting, this journey from childhood to adulthood can also be a stressful one. Maintaining a healthy sense of who we are and developing a separate identity from our parents, while learning how to remain close to them can be challenging. Feeling a sense of acceptance and belonging to our peer group is also crucial during this stage of life and this too can be a source of emotional distress when our needs for connection are not satisfied. These changing realities and challenges during our teens may cause anxiety, depression, self-doubt, and uncertainty.
During adolescence, relationships outside the family become more intense and play a more prominent role in our lives. The quality of these relationships will have a critical impact on our self-esteem and our capacity to form relationships. The ability to meet expectations appropriate to our stage of development and finding meaningful areas in which we feel competent is important to our overall health and well-being.
During this period, we may find that our parents are struggling to adjust to our changing needs and the complexities of who we are becoming. Conflict between teens and parents that is marked by a high degree of volatility and anger may present difficulties for our relationships as everyone tries to wade through this stage in our development. We may experience our parents as losing their tempers, constantly yelling or bullying us in their effort to maintain control over our world and what might happen to us.
During this stage in our lives, it is important to be given positive affirmation and support as we develop a sense of who we are in the world and work toward establishing healthy self-esteem.
During this period, we may find that our parents are struggling to adjust to our changing needs and the complexities of who we are becoming. Conflict between teens and parents that is marked by a high degree of volatility and anger may present difficulties for our relationships as everyone tries to wade through this stage in our development. We may experience our parents as losing their tempers, constantly yelling or bullying us in their effort to maintain control over our world and what might happen to us.
As we continue to grow more independent, our parents become less able to influence our decisions and behaviour and, as a result, they may also experience higher levels of anxiety. It is important that our parents learn to relinquish some control to allow us to develop our autonomy and give us room for self-discovery and fulfillment. At the same time, our parents must also figure out how to maintain their own sense of who they are, renegotiate and enforce household rules, and require that we meet age-appropriate expectations.
If you are a teenager and are experiencing any of the following difficulties or are a parent of an adolescent who exhibits these symptoms, you may find it helpful to seek the support of a therapist:
If you are a teenager and are experiencing any of the following difficulties or are a parent of an adolescent who exhibits these symptoms, you may find it helpful to seek the support of a therapist:
- Argumentative, critical, moody
- High emotionality, or social withdrawal
- Overly aggressive and other problematic behaviours
- Difficulty with abiding by family and social rules
- Self-destructive or other destructive behaviours
- Difficulty with personal and social identity (i.e., sexual, gender)
- Excessive fear, anger, sadness, or hurt in interpersonal relationships
- Difficulty with family, peer, and/or in teacher-student relationships
- Problems with concentration/attention to tasks
- Changes to academic, intellectual, emotional, and social functioning